A MUM whose daughter died when she was just a teenager has spoken about about the importance of discussing end of life wishes.

Dee Anderson, of Brentwood, appeared in a special film in support of Dying Matters Week, which aimed to get people talking more openly about death, bereavement and the wishes of those who pass away.

Her daughter Katie was diagnosed at 18 months old with Neurofibromatosis Type 1, a condition which causes non-cancerous growths to grow along the nerves.

When she was nine, a growth was found at the top of her spinal cord and sadly, despite having several rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy but on August 20, 2015, she died at Little Havens Hospice, aged 13.

Dee said the open and honest conversations she had with Katie about death, cremation and burial before she died helped her cope, as it meant she could fulfill Katie's last wishes.

Dee said: “I explained what the difference was and she said to me: “I think I’d rather be cremated” and where she’d like her ashes scattered.

"We have a bluebell wood where my Nan and Granddad’s ashes are scattered and we go there every year, the entire family, and she said she’d like her ashes scattered there so she knew people would come and visit her which was Katie to a tee, she just loved people coming round."

Katie had been having respite breaks at Little Havens Hospice in Thundersley for five years while she underwent treatment and three days before she died, Katie was transferred there from the Royal London Hospital on life support.

Dee added: “I know Katie did a lot of research; she found a website that did coffins. Not your standard brown coffins, these were colourful and although she didn’t pick one I went onto the website after she’d passed away and I knew straight away the one she would have picked and it’s the one we chose.

“It was quite comforting that she’d researched it because I knew she was aware it was a strong possibility she was going to die.

"When you’re faced with a child’s illness which is potentially life threatening it makes it so difficult, having that conversation with a child about them dying because you almost don’t want to accept it yourself and yet you feel you have to and a lot of families think ‘oh we won’t mention it’, they won’t discuss it with their child because they don’t want to upset them."

However Dee has stressed it was a comfort to know what Katie would have actually wanted.

She added: "For Katie to have done that research and have an outline of what she would have wanted it was huge relief to me because I know that she was aware it was a possibility and I knew what she wanted.

“So when the time came and Katie did pass away it was easier because I almost had her sitting on my shoulder telling me: “oh yeah mum, that sounds really good,” and arranging her funeral was probably one of the easiest things I’ve done.

“To be able to give your child the end of life care she wanted, where she wanted, how she wanted fills me with a sense of achievement.

"Every wish that she wanted she got.”

Dee’s film can be found at havenshospices.org.uk/katie